boozenews.ca

By A. Paul Mitchell


The Associated Press recently published an article on how to dine out on the cheap. This article was condensed and reprinted in the London Free Press on June 7th, 2009 and got me thinking about how a similar approach is employed within the drinks trade. For the sake of brevity, the focus is not on how to drink "copious amounts for less" but how to have a drink or try a new product at a more reasonable price. Things like "having your friend pay the tab" and "drink and dash" do not count. These are simple way to make your budget go a bit further. One caveat to remember is that entertaining at home is always going to be the best value (no mark-up) because decor and entertainment are always going to incur a cost. However, going out to a nice establishment with good music to socialize with other people is a premium that I am personally always willing to pay for.

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In celebration of April Fool's Day, I thought it might be interesting to recap some of the best practical jokes that involve the drinks trade. Courtesy of a complete list drawn up by Museum of Hoaxes, these four short examples demonstrate what creative, and somewhat mischievious, people can come up with. Remember, any publicity is good publicity to some people in the marketing world. One should be quick to notice how the advent of the internet has led to a proliferation of April Fool's pranks. It is tough to be a news editor on this one particular day of the year!
Enjoy.

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By Paul Mitchell


A few years ago, I discovered the Modern Drunkard Magazine and their incredibly funny articles relating to drinking. I even purchased the book when it came out a few years ago. If you haven’t visited their site yet, do yourself a favour.

Visit: www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com

Anyway, the website featured an article about the Top 10 Drink Icons and it started me thinking about how marketing agencies have developed campaigns using an idealized “character” similar to the personalities of their target demographic. I was thinking about two of the article’s finalists and what they would be like if they were real people.

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By Paul Mitchell



A lot has been discussed about branding and its various components (brand equity, brand recognition, et al) but the importance is really about market perception and what people immediately think about when they hear your name, see your logo or remember the experience they had with your product or service. It is at the core of marketing and in building long-term relationships with your clients.

There was an article in the Wall Street Journal recently about the problems the police have been experiencing at Chuck E. Cheese’s restaurants across the United States. As a case study in both crisis communication and the need to protect your brand, their recent experience is invaluable (and hilarious). For in no other segment than with family restaurants and the promise to families and children of good –natured, wholesome fun, could things get any worse...

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The following is a quick and humourous article I found at the National Post Appetizer site. I really like what the newspaper has done with its food and beverage section lately.
Simply, this is a quirky article that gave me a chuckle today.
Paul

Originally posted at National Post by Rebecca Tucker based on a Russell Millard/Reuters article
http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/theappetizer/default.aspx

In an amusing case of misdirected mail, a full 12 barrels of lager were recently sent to Windsor Castle — yes, that's where Queen Elizabeth lives — when they'd been intended for a pub of the same name. The barrels, which held a total 2,000 pints of beer, apparently amazed staff at the queen's residence, who quickly realized the delivery was meant to be sent to the Windsor Castle pub, which is (adding to the potential for confusion) a mere five miles down the road. Pub owner Misko Coric said deliveries for the royal family were sometimes sent to his pub, but he said this is the first time a shipment of his had been sent to them. 
Meanwhile, a royal spokesman told U.K.'s The Sun, "It was very funny. But there's no way the queen sits down in the evening with a pint." And, really, isn't the queen just about the only person you can imagine turning down a full 2,000 pints of English lager?

Work has kept me away from posting over the last couple of weeks but I wanted to feature some of the interesting articles I have read lately. In the name of expediency, I am going to preview each and post the link for your entertainment.
Paul Mitchell

Wine Spectator Restaurant Awards Claimed to Be a Big Scam
There has always been speculation that some magazine awards are simply vehicles for advertising, but it really takes some daring to try to prove it in such an obvious way…
http://osterialintrepido.wordpress.com/2008/08/15/what-does-it-take-to-get-a-wine-spectator-award-of-excellence/

A follow up story from India with a different perspective on the same subject…
http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/StoryPage.aspx?sectionName=&id=8098837b-02d3-4c54-93c0-77f00277f7c4&&Headline=The+Great+Wine+Scam&strParent=strParentID

Man Breaks Into Home, Drinks Wine in Underwear
http://www.midhudsonnews.com/News/September08/08/Hurth_arr-08Sep08.html

96-Year-Old Bartender Still Pours a Great Drink
And people say that the bar business is just for the young….
http://www.kptm.com/Global/story.asp?S=8967241&nav=menu606_2

Man Defends His Legal Right To Drink Beer on His Stoop
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/08/nyregion/08stoop.html?_r=1&ref=nyregion&oref=slogin

One of America’s Largest Brewers Is Owned By a School Charity
http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/chi-mon-pabst-irs-0908-sep08,0,2629577.story

(AKH: I know I am repeating myself, but the best part about this story is how Foster fell down and was hurt when he couldn't defend himself because his arm got caught up in his "man purse"...)

By April Kemick
A prominent London lawyer, charged with assault and resisting arrest after being bounced from a downtown bar last summer, has been cleared of all criminal charges.
Brian Foster, 66, an executive partner in Foster, Townsend, Graham and Associates, was ejected from the Ceeps and Barney's patio last Civic Holiday weekend.
A dust-up ensued and Foster ended up facing three criminal charges -- two counts of assault and one count of resisting arrest -- plus one trespassing charge.
This week, Justice Marietta Roberts acquitted him on the assault and resisting arrest charges, upholding only a $75 fine for trespassing.

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By Canadian Press
EDMONTON -- The mother of a drunk-driving victim is horrified by a Facebook group that jokingly promotes drinking and driving.
The group on the social-networking website has attracted 105 members since its creator Edmonton-based started it.

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(AKH: The highlight of this article is the quote from the magistrate! It would be an even more dastardly crime if the champagne in question was vintage!)

PASSENGERS fled in terror on a Valleys line train when a drunken passenger boarded it wielding two bottles of Champagne, Cardiff Crown Court heard.
Steven Smith, 36, sprayed passengers including women and children with Champagne before smashing the bottle and threatening passengers with a broken half of it.
They ran terrified to either end of the carriage as Smith took an emergency hammer and, when he left the train, deliberately smashed a window.

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By China Daily
A man was taken into police custody on Tuesday after threatening to blow up an airplane flying from Yinchuan to Beijing.
No explosives were found when the plane was searched after landing in Beijing.
Later, police were told that the man had kept asking for beer during the flight. After being refused by a flight attendant, he wrote the bomb threat.
SOURCE: http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2007-07/30/content_5446028.htm